Sometimes I think I must be just a little bit insane. That somewhere in my genetic makeup lurks a crazy gene that will some day just leap out and and take over my mind and I will be reduced to a gibbering, quivering mass that my friends and family will regard with pity as they shake their heads and say "I always knew she would crack someday. Tsk, tsk. What a shame..."!
Oh please--do people actually say "tsk, tsk"?! Exactly. But the crazy thing--yeah, that could happen. Really.
Consider my life ovwer the past year. I was going along, content with my life, hoping for better but okay with how things were, when BAM! In June we discover that my husband has heart disease and my whole world turned upside down. He has surgery to correct some of the stuff, but a lot of it will take time to get better.
In July my youngest daughter meets a boy and I decide that maybe my rules about waiting until they are 16 to start dating may not apply in this situation, so with much trepidation I allow her to date him. Here we are, a year later, and they are still together. Who knew?
In February of this year my girlfriend sends me a text, telling me that she thinks she is going to have to place her three children into foster care because she can't take care of them anymore. WHAM! On my 20th wedding anniversay I got the strangest gift I have ever gotten--three more kids!
Since then my life has been a series of ups and downs as we have all had to adjust to three new people in our home full time. My 20 year old moved out (again) but his friend moved in! My daughter's bf had a lot of problems at home and ended up living with us for the rest of the school year. My oldest god daughter is also in and out, mostly dropping by (with impeccable timing I might add!) for dinner a few nights a week. At any given time I would be making dinner for 9 people at the minimum, and all this on a budget of barely $400 a month for food... Yep, I am the Crock Pot Queen, baby! LOL! And I am a hell of a shopper when it comes to groceries!!
So where does that leave me? On the verge of madness, I tell you! Really! If it's not the kids it 's the hubby, and if it's not the hubby it's the critters. Or it's a combination of all three of them!
So what do I do? I laugh a lot, cry a little, sing like no one can hear me and dance like nobody's watching because what else is there? You gotta keep on keeping on and all those other time-worn cliches.
Would I change any of it? I'm not sure. Even at it's craziest I still love my life. The little kids are doing so well now--most of the time they almost act normal, which is saying a LOT if you knew them before! My husband and I have a much healthier life-style, which is always a good thing. My daughter seems happy with this boy and he loves her--what more can a mother ask but for her children's happiness? My odest daughter is going into her Senior year with good friends by her side and a life goal of becoming a teacher before her. Life is good, surprisingly. Life is very, very good.
Crazy? Yes. Insane? Maybe. But it's the way I want it. Most of the time. And think how boring my life would be without all of the kids and critters to keep me entertained?!!
"Yep, she's definitely lost it now Mildred. Time to call the nice men in white jackets to take her away..." *grin*